foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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