ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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