I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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