Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize