i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
