Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
