God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You ruined the universe
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
