I need help removing her.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
