It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
