doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
