Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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