the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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