Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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