Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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