I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
