Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm going to jail i love you
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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