Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
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We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
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just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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