so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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