just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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