no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
