she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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