On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
