he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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