Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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