he referred to my room as the tit cave...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
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hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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