This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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