so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
