i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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