i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
