just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
