he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize