my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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