I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she smelled like a LAN party
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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