If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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