Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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