Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
