Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
