the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
