Where is the hickey?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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