here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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