Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
