I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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