i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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