i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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