But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
