3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
