is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
