i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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