Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
