sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
