that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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