So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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