Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
