i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
