You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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