I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
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Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
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no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.