Texts From Last Night

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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later

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  (606): you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later http://tfl.nu/ipo7
  Replies (26) Good night (2132) Bad night (5121)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.

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  (732): I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college. http://tfl.nu/q6b4
  Replies (13) Good night (790) Bad night (3849)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday

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  (506): just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday http://tfl.nu/uetg
  Replies (7) Good night (2481) Bad night (1152)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.

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  (613): You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best. http://tfl.nu/snhs
  Replies (5) Good night (2854) Bad night (1775)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?

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  (916): craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/76bu
  Replies (16) Good night (8699) Bad night (1311)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time

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  (785): sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time http://tfl.nu/vv7s
  Replies (8) Good night (2666) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?

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  (+44): Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night? http://tfl.nu/4ztl
  Replies (10) Good night (3502) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...

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  (708): Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked... http://tfl.nu/0j0c
  Replies (8) Good night (2339) Bad night (1008)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?

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  (301): Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed? http://tfl.nu/ow4j
  Replies (5) Good night (1513) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.

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  (304): Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened. http://tfl.nu/gr90
  Replies (8) Good night (2595) Bad night (642)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.

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  (701): Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single. http://tfl.nu/d9fj
  Replies (2) Good night (929) Bad night (980)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.

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  (519): We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek. http://tfl.nu/mffc
  Replies (1) Good night (795) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.

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  (404): Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night. http://tfl.nu/g1sg
  Replies (2) Good night (509) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy

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  (770): You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy http://tfl.nu/kuvz
  Replies (3) Good night (604) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10

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  (617): you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore (508): it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10 http://tfl.nu/2xhn
  Replies (0) Good night (870) Bad night (347)

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