Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  Why? Who won?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  we don't know. we ran out of oranges.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges. (1-440): Why? Who won? (440): we don't know. we ran out of oranges. http://tfl.nu/wlmn
  Replies (1) Good night (1551) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early. http://tfl.nu/9qa8
  Replies (5) Good night (1902) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete. http://tfl.nu/jsd4
  Replies (21) Good night (3460) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys. http://tfl.nu/5hlm
  Replies (23) Good night (5331) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza http://tfl.nu/lm16
  Replies (7) Good night (3536) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i have a dinosaur tramp stamp

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): i have a dinosaur tramp stamp http://tfl.nu/rh7q
  Replies (60) Good night (8197) Bad night (2100)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  What is a GED?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly (1-208): What is a GED? http://tfl.nu/qgi3
  Replies (47) Good night (936) Bad night (9845)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We better fuck soon then

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again. (201): We better fuck soon then http://tfl.nu/yyxr
  Replies (25) Good night (7814) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency http://tfl.nu/qlw6
  Replies (18) Good night (2859) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people http://tfl.nu/m3p8
  Replies (11) Good night (3693) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister? http://tfl.nu/m4fg
  Replies (5) Good night (2101) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building. http://tfl.nu/mjb6
  Replies (18) Good night (870) Bad night (2226)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations http://tfl.nu/f57w
  Replies (8) Good night (1644) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg http://tfl.nu/keiy
  Replies (1) Good night (1180) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing. http://tfl.nu/ca26
  Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (337)

Randomize