Texts From Last Night

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  (224): View more from Illinois

  his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.

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  (224): his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this. http://tfl.nu/41n8
  Replies (55) Good night (1320) Bad night (5210)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!

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  (315): THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/7uwm
  Replies (14) Good night (6823) Bad night (1334)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix

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  (803): I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix http://tfl.nu/tcv4
  Replies (35) Good night (7543) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.

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  (702): Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies. http://tfl.nu/viog
  Replies (7) Good night (3920) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney

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  (224): you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney http://tfl.nu/cyaf
  Replies (3) Good night (3694) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived

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  (845): Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived http://tfl.nu/83e2
  Replies (5) Good night (778) Bad night (1275)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.

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  (814): bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles. http://tfl.nu/uozt
  Replies (11) Good night (2756) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  whiskey

  (914): View more from New York

  stop

  (518): View more from New York

  tequila

  (914): View more from New York

  you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up

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  (518): whiskey (914): stop (518): tequila (914): you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up http://tfl.nu/4nb1
  Replies (3) Good night (1809) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please

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  (831): if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please http://tfl.nu/sfv9
  Replies (11) Good night (1436) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You made out with two different species that night

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  (508): You made out with two different species that night http://tfl.nu/gvcb
  Replies (8) Good night (574) Bad night (1412)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve

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  (330): I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve http://tfl.nu/wq9l
  Replies (3) Good night (970) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.

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  (845): The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction. http://tfl.nu/75bn
  Replies (3) Good night (944) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list

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  (508): Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list http://tfl.nu/sa1j
  Replies (4) Good night (821) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.

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  (301): Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited. http://tfl.nu/b9mp
  Replies (2) Good night (812) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm Batman.

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  (614): I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls. (614): I'm Batman. http://tfl.nu/j50i
  Replies (3) Good night (525) Bad night (483)

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