I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
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The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
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Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money