Dude i fell asleep inside of her
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.