woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
